Genesis 16 Abram’s wife is a bitch. There, I said it. Apparently, Sarai couldn’t have children. This is a sad thing, and I can feel very sorry for her, except for the fact that she is a raving nutjob and a bitch. Since she couldn’t have kids, she figured she would have her husband father a …
Genesis 12 So, now the Lord sends out some old guy from his land. So Abram (said old guy) takes his wife, his nephew Lot and all the stuff and people he acquired (slaves?) and heads out to Canaan because Lord said if you do, your friends will be awesome and your enemies destroyed. He stops …
Genesis 9 Now that everyone and everything is dead, God wants Noah and his boys (oh, and wives, but whatever) to fill the earth again. He promises to be nicer next time, but still has some rules. These are mostly about blood. Oh, but look, a rainbow! God says that this minor trick of light refracting …