Genesis 16

Genesis 16

Abram’s wife is a bitch. There, I said it.

Apparently, Sarai couldn’t have children. This is a sad thing, and I can feel very sorry for her, except for the fact that she is a raving nutjob and a bitch.

Since she couldn’t have kids, she figured she would have her husband father a child with her Egyptian slave, Hagar.  It was her idea, and she convinced Abram to do it. THEN, when the whole natural process (well, I don’t think forcing a slave to bear you kid is natural, but whatever) was in motion, she decides she doesn’t actually like the (her) plan, and gets mad at Abram, who tells her, essentially, “She’s your slave, do whatever you want (bitch)”.  I assume he says the last part under his breath.

So, Sarai starts to treat Hagar like crap.  Naturally, Hagar takes off.

While in the desert, running for her life and the life of her unborn child, God’s angel comes to her and urges her to go back to her master and get her punishment, because God will give her a son, that she will name Ishmael, who will GET HIS ASS KICKED BY EVERYONE.

Wait, what?

Yes, God will give her a son who will be hated and will have everyone against him.

They upside will be that her descendants will be many. This is apparently enough for her.  So she goes back and the 86 year old Abram has a son at last.

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