Genesis 17

After 13 years, God appears to Abram again. This time he has even MORE promises, but an interesting requirement.

God says Abram is now to be called Abraham, which apparently means “father of many”. He tells Abram that his descendants will inherit all of Canaan, where he’s living now, and that his descendants will be  many.  That is apparently the running theme:  you get a lot of grand kids.

For this, though, every male has to get circumcised. You, your kids, your slaves. This is how God wants to seal the deal.  If not, that person must be banished.

Furthermore, God tells Abram that his wife gets a new name: Sarah.  In addition to that, she will have a kid. She’s 90, but that’s fine.

But doesn’t he already have a son? Didn’t Sarai make sure of that (in her own psychotic way)?  Yes.  Abram even mentions that to God.  If God is magically going to give him a new kid, the old one sure must have sucked.

God tells him it’s cool, but only the new one Isaac, will get the covenant.  Ishmael’s kids get to be rulers.

Abraham then gathers all the males in the household and mutilates their penises. For God.