The answer is that it’s his own fault.

Even as a child I never bought this and reading it now I think it makes even less sense.  Even if we allow the idea of a talking serpent, it makes no sense.

My biggest issue is the treatment of Adam and Eve.  You see, before they eat of “The Tree” they are entirely ignorant of what is good and evil, right?  Logically they don’t understand if it’s good or not to do as God commands.  Of course, we know that what we consider as “good” or “evil” is an accumulation of our experiences throughout life.  We learn what causes ourselves suffering, and through empathy and experience, how that suffering effects others.  ”Good” and “evil” isn’t just a unit of knowledge we inherit, but a complex interplay of memory, rational, and emotion.

There is just so much wrong with Gen 3 that we’re forced to clearify the assumption it implies.

The assumption is that man is required to obey God.  Why?  Is there any reason for this other than “because the bigger guy says so”?  Of what real value is this to man?  To suggest that our obedience was to be rewarded with an eternity of bliss in the Garden is to see man as merely a pet.  Another creation to amuse another god.  We are being who think and do and ask and explore.  Eve did as a human should do: she tested.  If God did not understand this, then he is not a god but merely a tinkerer.

So, God did not understand his creation.  Gen 3:1 “the serpent was more craft…” Apparently it was more crafty than even God, for it stole his secret and gave it to woman.  And the serpent didn’t lie. It said you will not die, as God had said in Gen 2:17 (“when you eat of it you will surely die” implies immediacy).

And what did Adam and Eve learn?  They learned that they were naked and they should cover themselves.  Apparently, this was an evil that God had been allowing in Eden the whole time.  The Tree taught them it was evil, and not God.  Also, Adam didn’t learn that it’s good to take responsibility.  Gen 3:6 states that Adam was there the whole time and did not stop her, yet tried to blame her.  God’s Tree is turning out to be a dud!

Alas, God starts handing out the punishments to all involved.  Ricky Gervais does a good job discussing the punishment the snake gets.

Here is, I think, the best part of Genesis 3, maybe even the entire book of Genesis.  Gen 3:22.  God says that man is like “one of us” (plural) and that he mustn’t eat of the tree of life and live forever.  Wow!  God placed the means for man to become his equal in every way in the Garden and when man started to, God makes sure to shut him down.  Sounds like cheesy sci-fi to me.

Taking the story at face value, we have a creature God made, that is apparently designed in a way God didn’t understand, that told God’s secret (how to become a god) to another creature God created, who disobeys based on that secret (without real understanding of it’s actions) and therefor punished the billions of lives who came after.

The beginning.

So, God rests and blessing the 7th day.  How is this useful or important?  Is it simply a rule (sabbath) or does it have concrete meaning, like, less bad things happen on the Sabbath?  Either way, God apparently needs to get to the next subject, so don’t spend too much time thinking about it…

Why didn’t it rain? Gen 2:6. I find it interesting, but I suppose not very important.  Being God he can make it come from anywhere, but why UP form the ground, rather than DOWN from the sky?

One question popped into my head at Gen 2:8.  The garden of Eden was planted east of where?  God formed earth, and there is just water and land without label or reference.  What exactly is Eden east of that is of great importance?  Either way, he plops man into it, and then needs to discuss trees…

Specifically 2 special trees: the tree of Life, the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.  Middle if the garden.  Next subject!

I don’t want to catalog all the little things going on here, so I hope you get my point.  It’s a jumpy and disconcerting narrative.  It skips ahead, then goes back and fills in, then skips ahead again.  It’s a really crappy way to communicate a series of events.  Unless you’re Quentin Tarantino and happen to know what the hell you’re doing.

Last jump here: So God makes animals for Adam (oh, is that his name, thanks for the introductions) to give him a helper and stave off loneliness.  Why didn’t God make Adam without loneliness, or know in advance what he needed?  Hmmm, must be one of those ineffable things.  Either way, “woman” is made of “man”, from “man”, a gift for “man”, but clearly not whole or important in her own right.  Otherwise she wouldn’t have been an afterthought and an “fix” for something else that was wrong.

As an opening line, it’s not that great of a hook, but I don’t think it’s meant to be.

What can I say about Genesis other than it’s a creation story?  Many cultures have them, and they really all sound the same.  I can remember watching PBS as a kid when I was home sick from school and seeing a show that had cartoons of mythical stories of Native Americans.  They included creation stories about Mother Earth turning a stalk of corn into a man and women, or some animal impregnating a hill.  Quite honestly, they all sound seem like primitive fantasy.  Those shows may even have contributed in some way to my eventual loss of faith.  Thank you PBS!

One thing I noticed in Gen1 was the phrasing and timeline.  It was very odd to try and understand what is meant by “earth”.  Gen1:1 states God created both heaven and earth, but the next verses discuss the various separations of water.  Did God create the water?  Was that the earth, and if so, that doesn’t seem to meet many definitions of “earth”.  ”Water” and “Formless” (not watery, just water).  Then he goes on to separate the “waters” into sky and “the rest”, I suppose.  It really doesn’t seem to have a whole lot of internal consistency.

It really just appears to be a cataloging of all the things that “must” have happened for the world to be just the way we see it.  Point in case, Gen 1:14-18.  The sky is bright AND there is a Sun in it, but there is no bright sky when there is a Moon, so it stands to reason that the light in the sky is NOT connected to the Sun, but occurs at the same time as the Sun.  God created night and day, THEN create the “greater and lesser” lights to govern them.

Gen 1:24-25 talks about the distinction between “wild” and “livestock”, but we know that God didn’t create that distinction, Man did when he domesticated some wild animals and not others.  We even can date when certain animals were domesticated based on either records or genetic information.  So, if your oral tradition never kept an account of the domestication process, you might explain the difference as “Poof!, God did it!”

And there you have it: “Poof, God did it?”.  It’s the ultimate explanation for anything you can’t explain.  The Biblical God is, and has always been, a God of the Gaps.  See you in chapter 2!